Betty Bowers Explains Traditional Marriage
to Everyone Else
Coming Out . . . on Christmas Day
The 12 Gays of Christmas
The Hen Party
There's nothing "gay" about this, but we laughed
so damn hard, we HAD to include it!
Jason McElway
What's
a good laugh without a FEEL-GOOD cry?!
Watch this and see!
It's All Because (The Gays Are Getting Married)
Hot Damn, Hot Damn, HOT DAMN, I LUH-UV the Gays!
How the Grinch Stole Marriage . . .
by Mary Ann Horton, Lisa
and Bill Koontz
(with apologies to Dr. Seuss.)
Every Gay
down in Gayville liked Gay Marriage a
lot......
But the Grinch, who lived just east of
Gayville, did NOT!!
The Grinch
hated happy Gays! The whole Marriage season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite
knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just
right.
It could be, perhaps, his Florsheims were
too tight.
But I think the most likely reason of all
was
His heart and brain were two sizes too
small.
"And
they're buying their tuxes!" he snarled with
a sneer,
"Tomorrow's the first Gay Wedding! It's
practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers
nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Gay Marriage
from coming!"
The Original . . . by the
National Organization for Marriage:
A Reasoned Response:
Okay, Let's Have Some Fun
With This:
The Gathering Storm Chasers:
The Storm Has Arrived:
And Finally . . .
Weathering the Storm:
Coming Out to Mom & Dad . . . When You're a
Superhero
"Adam & Eve"
The New Ranch Hand
There was once a successful rancher
who died and left everything to his devoted wife.
She was determined to keep the ranch and make a go
of it, but she knew very little about ranching.
So she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a
ranch hand. Two men applied for the job:
one was gay and the other was a drunk. She thought
long and hard about it, and when no one else applied
for the job, she decided to hire the gay guy,
figuring it would be safer to have him around the
house than the drunk.
He turned out to be a fantastic
worker who worked long and hard hours every day and
who knew a lot about ranching.
or weeks the two of them worked, and
the ranch was doing really well. Then one day, the
rancher’s wife said to the hired hand, “You have
done a really good job and the ranch looks great.
You should go into town and kick up your heels.”
The hired hand agreed readily, and on
Saturday night he went to town. However, 1:00am
came and he hadn't returned to the ranch. 2:00am
came and still no hired hand. Finally, at 3:00am,
in came the hired hand.
The rancher’s wife was sitting by the
fireplace and quietly called him over to her.
“Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said.
Trembling, he did as she asked. “Now take off my
boots.” He did so, slowly. “Now take off my
socks.” He did. “Now take off my skirt.” He did.
“Now take off my bra.” Again, with trembling hands
he did as she asked. “Now,” she said, “Take
off my panties” He slowly pulled them down. Then
she looked at him and said, “Don’t you ever wear my
clothes to town again!”
"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C.
Reilly, and many more... A star-studded cast turns out for Marc
Shaiman's "Prop 8 - The Musical."
A Laugh A
Day Keeps the Bad Guys Away . . . (we wish!)
"On a lighter note,
this week I appeared on the Colbert Report for the new
segment "Better Know a Lobbyist." I had such a great time
bantering with Stephen about the movement for GLBT equality
and I am so pleased with how the piece turned out. It aired
on two consecutive evenings, but if you missed it, you can
watch the clips at:
(Note from your PFLAG
Phoenix webmaster: These two video clips are definitely
worthwhile. Each runs about 5 minutes. Sit back and
prepare to laugh!)
Beware the Gravy Ladle!
Dan
invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his
mother couldn't help noticing how handsome Dan's roommate was. She
had long been suspicious of Dan's sexuality and this only made her more
curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two men
interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Dan and the
roommate than met the eye. Reading his mother's thoughts, Dan volunteered,
"I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Mike and I are just
roommates."
About a week later, Mike came to
Dan and said, "Ever since your mother
came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle.
You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Dan said, "Well, I doubt
it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So, he sat down
and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house,
and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact
remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Dan
Several days later,
Dan received a letter from his mother which read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying you 'do' sleep with Mike, and I'm not saying
that you 'do not' sleep with Mike. But the fact remains that if Mike
was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mom
Nun-Sense
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the
cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver
won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he
is staring. He replies: "I have a
question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you"
She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me.
When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as
long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear
just about everything. I'm sure that there's
nothing you could say or ask that I would find
offensive."
"Well,
I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about
that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you
must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm
single and Catholic!
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would
make a hooker blush. But when they get back on
the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear
child," said the nun, "why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must
confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and
I'm going to a Halloween party."
Bragging Rights: Four Proud Fathers
Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee
and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three
men started talking and bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is
so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free."
The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line
dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend a new Mercedes,
fully loaded."
The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker,
and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire portfolio."
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking
care of business. The first man mentioned, "We are just talking about
our sons. How is yours doing?"
The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and dances in a gay bar."
The other three men grew silent as he continued. "I'm not totally
thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing good. His last
three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio."
The Princess Gets Grounded . . .
The plane's cabin was being served by a very gay flight attendant who
was
just as obviously enjoying himself. He came swishing down the aisle
and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce
that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people.
So if you could just put up your trays that would be super."
On his trip back
up the aisle, he noticed that a woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you
to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a
Princess. I take orders from no one."
To which the
flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,
"Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a
Queen, so I outrank you. Put the tray up,
Bitch."
"Be Strong!"
An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years
of his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a
house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.
He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the
bed.
He got on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared he was kissing
her neck. Suddenly he got up and left the room.
As soon as possible the husband made his way across the room to
his bride, his chair in tow and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't
seen a woman in years. I saw him kissing you on your neck and then
he left in a hurry. Just cooperate and do anything he wants.
If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you
like it. Whatever you do, don't fight him or make him mad.
Our lives depend on it!. Be strong and I love you."
After spitting out the gag in her mouth, the half naked wife says:
"Dear, I'm so relieved you feel that way. You're right, he hasn't seen
a woman in years, but he wasn't kissing my neck....He was whispering in
my ear. He said he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept
the Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong and I love you too."
Check back again as our list of "laughs" continues
to grow! Got a funny one to share?
Send it to us!
