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The following words and phrases are some of the more common
terminology that you'll hear in discussions at PFLAG support
meetings . . . and on your television, in newspapers, on your
radio, and just about anywhere. Unfortunately, these words
and phrases are often misused or used incorrectly when presented
by mainstream media. To help clear up the confusion (or
lack of education) regarding these terms, the National
Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association (NLGJA) has prepared
the "NLGJA
Stylebook Supplement on Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
Terminology" to assist the mainstream media in using
these terms correctly. Below are selected words and
phrases excerpted from their stylebook, and the corresponding
definition and proper use notation where denoted. We hope
these definitions and use notations will also help you to better
understand these common words and phrases.
[Note:
The terms listed below are not arranged alphabetically; they are
arranged logically so that related terms are grouped together
and, where applicable, one term builds upon another.]
Basic Terms:
The following terms are very basic and very common.
They are most certainly the terms that you'll hear used again
and again at PFLAG support meetings.
| Wait!
Just when we thought we had a handle on all this
terminology, wouldn't you know that evolution
marches forward, and new terminology (and new uses
for some old terminology) continues to emerge.
We suggest reading the article
"The
Origins and Continuing Evolution of Identity
Terminology" which discusses where all this
terminology originated (it's waaaaay more recent
that you may think) and how it is morphing once
again -- primarily by our younger generations.
Want to be ahead of the curve?
Read this article! |
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Straight |
(adj.)
Heterosexual; a person whose sexual and affectional
attraction is to someone of the opposite sex. |
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Gay |
An adjective that has
largely replaced “homosexual” in referring to men
who are sexually and affectionally attracted to other
men. Avoid using as a singular noun. For women,
“lesbian” is preferred. To include both, use “gay
men and lesbians.” In headlines where space is an
issue, “gays” is acceptable to describe both. |
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Lesbian |
Preferred term, both as a
noun and as an adjective, for women who are sexually and
affectionally attracted to other women. Some women
prefer to be called “gay” rather than “lesbian”;
when possible, ask the subject what term she prefers. |
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Bisexual |
As a noun, an individual who
may be attracted to either sex. As an adjective, of or
relating to sexual and affectional attraction to either
sex. Does not presume non-monogamy.
[Note:
While a bisexual individual can be attracted to
individuals of either sex, it does not imply that they
can be/will be attracted to more than one individual at
a time.] |
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Transgender |
(adj) An umbrella term that
can include preoperative, postoperative or nonoperative
transsexuals, female and male cross-dressers, drag
queens or kings, female or male impersonators and
intersex individuals. If an individual prefers to be
called transsexual, drag queen or king, intersex, etc.,
use that term. [Note: All terms included
in this definition are defined in a separate "Transgender-Related
Terms" section below.] |
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LGBT |
Acronym for “lesbian, gay,
bisexual and transgender.” [Note: Sometimes
denoted as "GLBT", as used throughout our
website.] |
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Homosexual |
As a noun, a
person who is attracted to members of the same sex. As
an adjective, of or relating to sexual and affectional
attraction to a member of the same sex. Use only if
“heterosexual” would be used in parallel
constructions, such as in medical contexts. For other
usages, see gay and lesbian. |
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Sexual
Orientation |
Innate sexual
attraction. Use this term instead of “sexual
preference.” See lifestyle.
[Note: Some people object to the term
"orientation" and instead prefer the term
"Sexual Identity."] |
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Sexual
Preference |
Avoid. See
sexual orientation. [Note: Outdated term
that fell out of favor once the scientific, medical and
phycological communities began to acknowledge that one's
Sexual Orientation/Sexual Identity was not a
"preference", which implies a conscious choice
available to the GLBT individual.] |
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Gender
Identity |
An
individual’s emotional and psychological sense of
being male or female. Not necessarily the same as an
individual’s biological identity.
[Note:
An example of Gender Identity would be a boy or man who
feels inside that they were born in the wrong body and
are actually a girl or woman.] |
Closeted,
In The Closet |
Refers to a
person who wishes to keep secret his or her sexual
orientation or gender identity. |
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Coming Out |
Short for
“coming out of the closet.” Accepting and letting
others know of one’s previously hidden sexual
orientation or gender identity. See closeted
and outing. |
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Outing |
(from “out of
the closet”) Publicly revealing the sexual orientation
or gender identity of an individual who has chosen to
keep that information private. Also a verb: The magazine
outed the senator in a front-page story. See coming
out and closeted. |
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Lifestyle |
An inaccurate
term sometimes used to describe the lives of gays,
lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people. Avoid.
[Note: An outdated term that assumed that GLBT
individuals all lived the same (in most cases, also
assumed) deviant "lifestyle". The truth
of the matter is that GLBT individuals come from all
walks of life and live lives as varied as the general
population. Therefore, there is no single
"lifestyle" that can be assumed for any GLBT
individual.] |
"Advanced" Terms:
Okay, you survived the basic terms pretty well. Now
we'll move on to some "advanced" terms that you'll
also hear used at PFLAG support meetings. Some of these
terms may represent areas/issues that you're not ready to
discuss, and that's okay with us. These terms are included
here to help expand your knowledge so that you'll be aware of
what the rest of us are speaking about if a particular topic
comes up in conversation.
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Openly
Gay/Lesbian |
As a modifier,
“openly” is usually not relevant; its use should be
restricted to instances in which the public awareness of
an individual’s sexual orientation is germane.
Examples: Harvey Milk was the first openly gay San
Francisco supervisor. “Ellen” was the first sitcom
to feature an openly lesbian lead character.
“Openly” is preferred over “avowed,”
“admitted,” “confessed” or “practicing.” |
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Gay/Lesbian
Relationships |
Gay, lesbian and
bisexual people use various terms to describe their
commitments. Ask the individual what term he or she
prefers, if possible. If not, “partner” is generally
acceptable. |
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Domestic
Partner |
Unmarried
partners who live together. Domestic partners may be of
opposite sexes or the same sex. They may register in
some counties, municipalities and states and receive
some of the same benefits accorded married couples. The
term is typically used in connection with legal and
insurance matters. See gay/lesbian
relationships. |
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Lover |
A gay, lesbian,
bisexual or heterosexual person’s sexual partner.
“Partner” is generally acceptable. See gay/lesbian
relationships. [Note:
"Lover" is a term used by many same-sex
couples in longer-term relationships, (or individuals
from such past relationships) as that term was the
accepted term in the '60s, '70s and '80s. Today,
the term "Partner" is being used by more and
more same-sex couples as some are not comfortable using
the term "Lover", as they feel it implies a
sex-only relationship as opposed to a full loving,
emotionally bonding and sexual relationship. When
in doubt, simply ask the couple in question what term
they prefer.] |
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Commitment
Ceremony |
A formal,
marriage-like gathering that recognizes the declaration
of members of the same sex to each other. Same-sex
marriages are not legally recognized in the United
States. (In April 2001, The Netherlands became the first
nation to offer legal marriage to same-sex couples who
are citizens or legal residents.) |
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Civil Union |
The state of
Vermont began this formal recognition of lesbian and gay
relationships in July 2000. A civil union provides
same-sex couples some rights available to married
couples in areas such as state taxes, medical decisions
and estate planning. |
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Homophobia |
Fear, hatred or
dislike of homosexuality, gay men and lesbians. |
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Heterosexism |
Presumption that
heterosexuality is universal and/or superior to
homosexuality. Also: prejudice, bias or discrimination
based on such presumptions. |
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Pride (Day
and/or March) |
Short for
gay/lesbian pride, this term is commonly used to
indicate the celebrations commemorating the Stonewall
Inn riots June 28, 1969. Pride events typically take
place in June. See Stonewall.
[Note: In Phoenix, the annual outdoor Pride
parade and festival have been moved to April due to the
excessive summer heat here.] |
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Special
Rights |
Politically
charged term used by opponents of civil rights for gay
people. Avoid. “Gay civil rights,” “equal
rights” or “gay rights” are alternatives. |
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“Ex-Gay” |
(adj.) The
movement, mostly rooted in conservative religions, that
aims to change the sexual attraction of individuals from
same-sex to opposite-sex. |
Transgender-Related
Terms:
The following terms fall under the umbrella of
"Transgender", as also defined below.
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Transgender |
(adj) An
umbrella term that can include preoperative,
postoperative or nonoperative transsexuals, female and
male cross-dressers, drag queens or kings, female or
male impersonators and intersex individuals. If an
individual prefers to be called transsexual, drag queen
or king, intersex, etc., use that term. |
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Gender
Identity |
An
individual’s emotional and psychological sense of
being male or female. Not necessarily the same as an
individual’s biological identity. |
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Intersex |
(adj.) People
born with some combination of male and female genitalia.
Parents and physicians usually will determine the sex of
the child, resulting in surgery or hormone treatment.
Many intersex adults seek an end to this practice. |
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Transsexual |
(noun) An
individual who identifies himself or herself as a member
of the opposite sex and who acquires the physical
characteristics of the opposite sex. Individual can be
of any sexual orientation. To determine accurate use of
names or personal pronouns, use the name and sex of the
individual at the time of the action. |
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Transition |
The process by
which one alters one’s sex. This may include surgery,
hormone therapy and changes of legal identity. |
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FTM |
Acronym for
“female to male.” A transgender person who, at birth
or by determination of parents or doctors, has a
biological identity of female but a gender identity of
male. Those who have undergone surgery are sometimes
described as “post-op FTMs” (for post-operative).
See gender identity and intersex. |
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MTF |
Acronym for
“male to female.” A transgender person who, at birth
or by determination of parents or doctors, has a
biological identity of male but a gender identity of
female. Those who have undergone surgery are sometimes
described as “post-op MTFs” (for post-operative).
See gender identity and intersex. |
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Cross-Dresser |
Preferred term
for person who wears clothing most often associated with
members of the opposite sex. Not necessarily connected
to sexual orientation. |
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Transvestite |
Avoid. See
cross-dresser. |
Terms from GLBT History:
The following terms have their roots in GLBT history.
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Stonewall |
The Stonewall
Inn tavern in New York City’s Greenwich Village was
the site of several nights of raucous protests after a
police raid on June 28, 1969. Although not the
nation’s first gay civil rights demonstration,
Stonewall is now regarded as the birth of the modern gay
civil rights movement. |
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Pink Triangle |
Now a gay pride
symbol, it was the symbol gay men were required to wear
in Nazi concentration camps during World War II.
Lesbians sometimes also use a black triangle. |
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Rainbow Flag |
A flag of six
equal horizontal stripes (red, orange, yellow, green,
blue, and violet) signifying the diversity of the
lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities. |
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Don’t Ask,
Don’t Tell |
Shorthand for
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Pursue,” the
military policy on gay men, lesbians and bisexuals.
Under the policy, instituted in 1993, the military is
not to ask service members about their sexual
orientation, service members are not to tell others
about their orientation, and the military is not to
pursue rumors about members’ sexual orientation. The
shorthand is acceptable in headlines, but in text the
full phrase adds important balance. |
Other Terms:
Below are some miscellaneous words and phrases that you may
hear, some of which are not positive towards GLBT individuals,
and some, like HIV and AIDS, which are often attributed to GLBT
individuals, but most certainly are not exclusive to any
particular group of people.
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Fag, Faggot |
Originally a
pejorative term for a gay male, it is now being
reclaimed by some gay men. Caution: still extremely
offensive when used as an epithet. |
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Homo |
Pejorative term
for homosexual. Avoid. |
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Queen |
Originally a
pejorative term for an effeminate gay man. Still
considered offensive when used as an epithet. |
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Queer |
Originally a
pejorative term for gay, now being reclaimed by some gay
men, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people as a
self-affirming umbrella term. Still extremely offensive
when used as an epithet. |
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Dyke |
Originally a
pejorative term for a lesbian, it is now being reclaimed
by some lesbians. Caution: still extremely offensive
when used as an epithet. |
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Drag |
Attire of the
opposite sex. |
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Drag
Performers |
Entertainers who
dress and act in styles typically associated with the
opposite sex (drag queen for men, drag king for women).
Not synonymous with transgender or cross-dressing. |
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HIV:
Human Immunodeficiency Virus |
The virus that
causes AIDS. “HIV virus” is redundant.
“HIV-positive” means being infected with HIV but not
necessarily having AIDS. AIDS doctors and researchers
are using the term “HIV disease” more because there
are other types of acquired immune deficiencies caused
by toxins and rare but deadly diseases that are
unrelated to what we now call AIDS. See AIDS. |
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AIDS:
Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome |
A medical
condition that compromises the human immune system,
leaving the body defenseless against opportunistic
infections. Some medical treatments can slow the rate at
which the immune system is weakened. Do not use the term
“full-blown AIDS.” Individuals may be HIV-positive
but not have AIDS. Avoid “AIDS sufferer” and “AIDS
victim.” Use “people with AIDS” or, if the context
is medical, “AIDS patients.” See HIV. |
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