What "Causes" Heterosexuality?

(author unknown)

So, you are one of the "fortunate" ones to be born a heterosexual.  Congratulations.  We truly are happy for you.  We just have a few questions for you about that.  Please answer honestly and completely:

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?

4. Is is possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

5. If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay lover? '.

6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

7. Why do you heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into your lifestyle?

8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problerns they'd face?.

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?

11. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

13. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like you?

14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be 'objective? Don't you fear (s)he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?

15. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality and fail to develop your natural, healthy homosexual potential?

16. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?

So, you see, those of us "fortunate" enough to be born homosexual, bisexual, or transgender would really like you to answer the above questions about yourself.  In trying to do so, maybe you'll see how ridiculous it is for us when we are asked those same questions about ourselves by those who are heterosexual.  In the infamous words of Lady Gaga, we're ALL "Born This Way!" -- whether homosexual, bisexual, transgender, or heterosexual.