"New" PFLAG Parents Tackle Local Talk Radio . . . And Live To Tell About It!

"My husband, Rex, and I were asked by PFLAG Phoenix co-president Mike Crum if we would like to speak on a local radio station program here in Phoenix about our son's "coming out" and how we struggle with our faith on this issue.

We decided that we would speak about it and, just a few days later, we arrived early at the radio station. My husband and I had never been on a radio show before, so this was a whole new experience for us.

We met the host, Reverend Walter F. Wieder, a minister for the Unitarian Universalist Church, and his co-host Jaime. The name of the show was "A Different View."

We also met another PFLAG Phoenix couple, Rudy and Dolores Livernois. Their son "came out" to them 20 years ago. Our son, Jack, came out to us only nine months ago.

The hosts decided that Rudy and Dolores would go on first. I was so thankful that they did because I was so nervous to begin with. I didn't think it would be that big a deal really. I mean after all, this is AM radio early on a Saturday morning. Who in the world would be listening at 8am in the morning to an AM radio station?

I soon found out when the lights lit up on the callers' panel. There were so many callers that they had to put some people on hold so the show could present itself with the guest speakers from PFLAG. We listened to Dolores and Rudy speak. They answered all the questions so intelligently and gave such informative answers. They were truly prepared to the max. Rudy even had his notebook full of notes and also handed out PFLAG bookmarkers and pamphlets to the hosts.

All I had brought was the phone number for PFLAG and the web address. So I thought, "When it is my turn, I am dead meat!" In between guest speakers, the host would take calls.

I became even more anxious as I heard one particular caller. He was comparing being gay to pollution. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This caller sounded like he was an intelligent man. But his logic and comparison made absolutely no sense to me at all. He really believed in what he was saying. I could feel butterflies in my stomach and I began to feel nauseous. I was nervous about the experience, but I was sick about what I was hearing.

This is what my gay son has to deal with. This stupid, foolish utterance from this idiot. So my nerves were on edge before I even got to the microphone.

It was then my and my husband's turn to speak. We had no idea we would be feeling so many emotions in such a short time. What I thought was not a big deal turned out to be just that: a big deal. When the Reverend began to ask me a question, all these emotions and the topic just came to a head. In my mind, I knew the hosts didn't have a lot of time left.

I really was fighting back the tears, but I couldn't hold back. I began to cry. I thought about my son, how he and his father and I have struggled with the church. Also, I thought about what the callers had said.

And this is what I said next. "In going to church for over 30 years, when my son came out, the church turned their back on us. When we found PFLAG and went to our first meeting, we found more acceptance, love and support in that one meeting than we did in going to church for 30 years."

My husband then said that the church had forgot one main thing. That the greatest gift of all is God's Love. I have to say that I was petrified when the Reverend took the next call. I thought "here it comes."

A lady had called in. She said that when she had heard me cry that she had cried. And this caller had more compassion and I was really hoping that the other callers were listening as well.

When the show was over, my husband and I felt renewed. We felt like everyone there had made such a big difference in such a short amount of time. So even though it was at 8:00 on a Saturday morning on an AM radio station, it was a big deal.

And we would like to thank Mike, Daria, Dolores, Rudy, Jamie and the Reverend for an unforgettable experience on KXXT 1010 AM in Phoenix on Saturday from 8-9 am.

Pat and Rex Gullick"

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of similar stories in our PFLAG Family. This is our voice, this is our strength.

To bring equality for loved ones all we have to do is change the world. We do it, one heart at a time. We can all do this. We must tell our truth.

My hat is off to Pat and Rex. My hat is off to all of you who have spoken out in large and small ways. You are our voice, you are our power. Keep telling your stories. Keep changing hearts and minds. We are changing the world.

Sam Thoron
President
PFLAG National Office